One of the common complaints about “kids nowdays” is that they expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. I, myself, have discussed this very issue with friends and family. I’ve seen many cases where “kids” expect to get things without working for them as if somehow, someway the universe will simply deliver it to them because they “deserve” it.
Sound familiar?
It’s one thing to expect success or desired results while diligently working toward them. It’s another to expect it will magically happen without having to actually do anything or put any effort toward those goals.
One describes DRIVEN, the other describes SPOILED. Which one are you?
Are you sure about that?
It’s funny how I’ve complained about this millennial generation acting spoiled and yet, after taking a really good hard look at myself in the mirror, I realized that I’ve acted the exact same way in some areas of my life.
Today’s society is soooo heavy on instant gratification. Technology gives us a variety of ways to get answers NOW, to get information NOW, to get in touch with friends and family NOW, to get what we want when we want it, which most times is NOW. We sit on our butts, press a few buttons, and voila! The world is delivered to us.
Backwards Thinking
Credit, which most “average” American families are familiar with, allow us to get things NOW and pay later. No longer do we value the concept of working hard first, save with discipline, then pay with cash AFTER we EARN it.
Why go through all that trouble when retailers are offering “6 months same as cash?” We can take it home NOW then simply earn and pay for it later. Even though this is ridiculously backwards and typically doesn’t work well in any scenario, we get caught up in this way of thinking.
Whether we realize it or not, our brain is bombarded with the idea that we don’t need to first EARN the things we want/get. We can “magically” get them NOW then figure out the rest later. Bad plan.
Living for Today
But I’m “Living for Today!” That’s all fine and dandy if it motivates you to throw your BEST into everything you do. It’s not so great when you use it as a justification to do stupid, irresponsible things now because there may be no “tomorrow” in which to do and/or pay for it.
Do What I Say
Do what I say, not what I do. I’m sure you’ve heard that one before. Unfortunately for us, that’s not the way it works.
After having some sense knocked back into me by life, I realized that maybe a big reason kids act entitled is because ADULTS in their life are modeling it for them in the choices and decisions that they make. Remember, they are more likely to do what we do, rather than do what we say.
That’s right, I said it. The adults, that’s us, in their life are modeling it for them. Now, it’s very possible you may not be, but I’m sure that if you think hard enough, you can think of someone in their lives who is. Or, you may be able to think of one area in your life or your coaching where you are acting like a spoiled little kid.
But I Deserve It
Some people feel that they work hard, they “deserve” a “treat” (nice expensive car or dinner or vacation) whether or not they can actually afford it. This is not a mature decision. I don’t care if it’s a good idea or not, I “deserve” it! This is not a good reason to make a bad choice. I’m not saying you don’t deserve a treat. I’m just saying that maybe you need to choose a different treat.
Short Term Sacrifice, Long Term Gain
Maybe you’ve seen coaches short on time in the pre-season skip the basics and move on to more advanced stuff because they want to be “ready.” Have you ever done that?
How about this one…
It’s not fair to the rest of the team to forfeit the game because some players broke a team rule.
We find so many ways to justify or rationalize these choices that really aren’t all that wise.
It’s not easy make tough decisions today for bigger payoffs in the long run. Can you make that call to sacrifice that ONE game now to nip a potentially huge problem in the bud?
It’s so tempting to take the easy route today even if it’s not the best long term decision. It’s natural to gravitate toward the path of least resistance.
When a toddler screams at the top of their lungs, throws a full tantrum on the floor, and shows no sign of ever giving up, it’s awfully tempting to just give ‘em what they want to placate them and get ‘em to shut up! But you and I both know that’s not a good idea.
While that easy route is less painful or uncomfortable now, but it can cause ongoing pain/stress and greater disappointment/grief later.
When you have the strength to make the necessary sacrifices now, to do the necessary “dirty work” now, to make the tough choices now, the payoff in the long run will be more than worth it.
The problem is that sometimes we adults, not just “kids nowdays,” have the tendency to make decisions based upon now (let’s shut that screaming toddler up as quick as possible) instead of thinking and looking long term at the “big picture.”
We take the easy way out now and decide to worry about the consequences later and hope that somehow by that time, the problem is magically fixed. We choose not to do the necessary “dirty work” now so that we can have the desirable results we want long term. Bad plan! And guess what?
That shows through in our players and in their choice to take the easy way out of the “dirty work” now and worry about the consequences of that later while hoping all along that somehow they will magically still get the result they want later.
Not gonna happen!
Have the discipline and the diligence and the maturity to do what it takes, no matter how tough it may be now, to move toward the desired, “big picture” results later. Keep that big picture and long term mindset on hand and it will make so called “tough” decisions much simpler. Plus you will be living and breathing the qualities, principles, and values you want to develop in your team.
Softball coaches and parents often get caught up in this idea of trying to keep a travel team together. It IS a great idea, BUT the reality is that it’s very tough to do. Especially when you start reaching the ages of 13, 14, 15…softball is getting more and more competitive, so when coaches and parents come across a team that does really well together, they want to do everything they can to keep it together.