Sound familiar?

It’s one thing to expect success or desired results while diligently working toward them.  It’s another to expect it will magically happen without having to actually do anything or put any effort toward those goals.

One describes DRIVEN, the other describes SPOILED.  Which one are you?

Are you sure about that?

It’s funny how I’ve complained about this millennial generation acting spoiled and yet, after taking a really good hard look at myself in the mirror, I realized that I’ve acted the exact same way in some areas of my life.

Today’s society is soooo heavy on instant gratification.  Technology gives us a variety of ways to get answers NOW, to get information NOW, to get in touch with friends and family NOW, to get what we want when we want it, which most times is NOW.  We sit on our butts, press a few buttons, and voila!  The world is delivered to us.

Backwards Thinking
Credit, which most “average” American families are familiar with, allow us to get things NOW and pay later.  No longer do we value the concept of working hard first, save with discipline, then pay with cash AFTER we EARN it.

Why go through all that trouble when retailers are offering “6 months same as cash?”  We can take it home NOW then simply earn and pay for it later.   Even though this is ridiculously backwards and typically doesn’t work well in any scenario, we get caught up in this way of thinking.

Whether we realize it or not, our brain is bombarded with the idea that we don’t need to first EARN the things we want/get.  We can “magically” get them NOW then figure out the rest later.  Bad plan.

Living for Today
But I’m “Living for Today!” That’s all fine and dandy if it motivates you to throw your BEST into everything you do.  It’s not so great when you use it as a justification to do stupid, irresponsible things now because there may be no “tomorrow” in which to do and/or pay for it.

Do What I Say
Do what I say, not what I do.  I’m sure you’ve heard that one before.  Unfortunately for us, that’s not the way it works.

After having some sense knocked back into me by life, I realized that maybe a big reason kids act entitled is because ADULTS in their life are modeling it for them in the choices and decisions that they make.  Remember, they are more likely to do what we do, rather than do what we say.

That’s right, I said it.  The adults, that’s us, in their life are modeling it for them.  Now, it’s very possible you may not be, but I’m sure that if you think hard enough, you can think of someone in their lives who is.  Or, you may be able to think of one area in your life or your coaching where you are acting like a spoiled little kid.

But I Deserve It
Some people feel that they work hard, they “deserve” a “treat” (nice expensive car or dinner or vacation) whether or not they can actually afford it.  This is not a mature decision. I don’t care if it’s a good idea or not, I “deserve” it! This is not a good reason to make a bad choice.  I’m not saying you don’t deserve a treat.  I’m just saying that maybe you need to choose a different treat.

Short Term Sacrifice, Long Term Gain
Maybe you’ve seen coaches short on time in the pre-season skip the basics and move on to more advanced stuff because they want to be “ready.”  Have you ever done that?

How about this one…

It’s not fair to the rest of the team to forfeit the game because some players broke a team rule.

We find so many ways to justify or rationalize these choices that really aren’t all that wise.

It’s not easy make tough decisions today for bigger payoffs in the long run.  Can you make that call to sacrifice that ONE game now to nip a potentially huge problem in the bud?

It’s so tempting to take the easy route today even if it’s not the best long term decision.  It’s natural to gravitate toward the path of least resistance.

When a toddler screams at the top of their lungs, throws a full tantrum on the floor, and shows no sign of ever giving up, it’s awfully tempting to just give ‘em what they want to placate them and get ‘em to shut up!  But you and I both know that’s not a good idea.

While that easy route is less painful or uncomfortable now, but it can cause ongoing pain/stress and greater disappointment/grief later.

When you have the strength to make the necessary sacrifices now, to do the necessary “dirty work” now, to make the tough choices now, the payoff in the long run will be more than worth it.

The problem is that sometimes we adults, not just “kids nowdays,” have the tendency to make decisions based upon now (let’s shut that screaming toddler up as quick as possible) instead of thinking and looking long term at the “big picture.”

We take the easy way out now and decide to worry about the consequences later and hope that somehow by that time, the problem is magically fixed.  We choose not to do the necessary “dirty work” now so that we can have the desirable results we want long term.  Bad plan! And guess what?

That shows through in our players and in their choice to take the easy way out of the “dirty work” now and worry about the consequences of that later while hoping all along that somehow they will magically still get the result they want later.

Not gonna happen!

Have the discipline and the diligence and the maturity to do what it takes, no matter how tough it may be now, to move toward the desired, “big picture” results later.  Keep that big picture and long term mindset on hand and it will make so called “tough” decisions much simpler. Plus you will be living and breathing the qualities, principles, and values you want to develop in your team.

That’s one of the main reasons the “Shameless Brags” group was created at Fastpitch World: to give you a place to celebrate and share your small (or big) victories and motivate you to keep pushing forward toward your ultimate goals.

Plus, I always find it motivating to read success stories from others in the game.

So…have you or your team accomplished something cool this season?

It doesn’t have to be big – it can be something small (1st homerun even). If so, please come and share your story! “Shameless Brags” was created specifically for sharing positive stories so that
others can celebrate with you and get inspired as well.

Or, if you don’t have anything to write, maybe you’ll find a little inspiration in the stories there.

If you haven’t been to Fastpitch World yet, you do need to sign up for an account before you can post, but it doesn’t cost a thing and only takes a few minutes.

Can’t wait to read your success story there!

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Don’t have any goals set yet? Elite members have 24/7 access to our Goal Setting Bootcamp which walks you through the questions and process you need to in order to set powerful
effective goals for your future.   Join our Elite Members Today

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There was something cute and very interesting I saw happen on the very first day.

Five players were just arriving at a hitting station where they were going to be hitting into a net. The players were about 8-9 years old so, to make things fun, the coach running the drill asked, “Who wants to go first?”

Guess what happened?

Four of the players immediately raised their hands.

That left one player who didn’t raise her hand.

So which one of the four hand-raising players did the coach pick?

NONE

The player that got to go first in this drill was the “other one”-the one that didn’t raise her hand. Why?

Because when the coach asked the question and all the other girls stood there and raised their hand, this player stepped right into the drill and got ready to hit. She didn’t bother to raise her hand to “say” she wanted to go first. She took action and went first.

There are times, when you KNOW what you want, that it’s better to shut your mouth, stop talking about it, and just do it!

So are you just talking about what you want to do and what you want to accomplish?

Or are you out there DOING what you want to do?

This week, make the choice to start DOING. Every day, do something to get you closer to your goals. Don’t have goals? Time to set some! Need help? I can walk you through it step by step right here.

It’s very difficult to achieve that BIG thing and set goals to help you get there when you have no idea what it is.

So, right now I’m going to share an example of how you can set more effective goals and improve your game.

Let’s not think about a huge thing right now, let’s just focus on ONE practice day.

How often do you think about what you want out of practice? You probably attend practice with the hopes of improving your game or getting better right? But what would you ultimately like practice to be like?

Think about that for a second.

Maybe one of the things you want is to improve your game at least a little each day?

Maybe you want to enjoy yourself and have some fun?

Whatever it is, ask yourself if those things are happening on a daily basis.

If not, why not?

Maybe your always rushing to practice so you’re already starting of full of anxiety instead of starting practice off in a positive way.

Maybe you don’t really see yourself improving as much as you’d like.

The idea is to:

1. Think about what you really want out of practice
2. Figure out some reasons why that’s not happening regularly
3. Then listing a few things you could do to make it happen

Maybe you really enjoy socializing with your teammates, but your always getting to practice in the nick of time, so you don’t really get that opportunity.

One thing you can decide to do is: make sure you get ready for practice early and make it a point to arrive at the field at least 15 minutes before start time. That way you can take your time. You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to feel pressured right off the bat. You can relax, find a great spot to put your bag in, and chit chat with your friends for a bit before you have to get to your training.

Wouldn’t that make your practice experience better? Wouldn’t you enjoy it more than always having to rush in, run to the dugout with your equipment bag, throw it in any remaining available spot, hurry to get your shoes on, scramble to find your glove, and hustle out to the field because everyone else is already ready to go?

Which way would you rather start practice? Which way do you usually start practice?

Is this a change you can make?

Another scenario: Maybe one of the reasons you go to practice is to get better, but somehow you’re not sure if it’s working. Try make it a point to learn one new thing each day.

• Listen closely each day to what your coaches have to say (instead of chatting with your friends on the field)
• Observe your teammates to see if you can learn from them (instead of chatting in the back of the line when it’s not your turn)
• At the end of the practice review and see if you learned anything new

If you look back and can name something you learned, you will see that you did accomplish something during practice and will feel better about your practice session. You’ll also be more motivated to get out there again the next day and take another step. Since you’re making it a point to learn something new, you’ll probably get more out of practice because you’re paying more attention and looking for ways to get better rather than just relying on your coaches to make you better. You will start to see that you are improving and raising your game by attending practice each day.

Have you thought of what you’d like out of practice or what you’d like your practice to be like?

Give it a try.

• Think about what you’d ultimately want your practices to be like
• Identify a few reasons why it’s not like that
• Then decide on a few things you can do differently to make it better

Try it today and let me know how it goes.

These are the types of exercises you’ll go through in the Goal Setting Acceleration Bootcamp – just on a larger scale and with a bit more detail.

Take the challenge of answering soul searching questions to get down to the meat of practical, action steps you can take to pump up your performance.

Sound like fun? You know I’m all about fun and I think you’ll enjoy the process of going through to activities in the goal setting bootcamp. Enjoy the game more and make bigger gains.

Start today. Try the stuff in this blog post, then go over to the GSA page and sign up to get Part 1 of the Bootcamp for FREE.

Are you up for the challenge???

Goal Setting Acceleration Bootcamp: For players and coaches want to catapult their game to a higher level

Some people think that goal setting isn’t necessary or that you can just keep your goals in your head. But here are a couple of thoughts from GoalsGuy.com – words from a goal setting expert.

Goal setting is not that important.
The GoalsGuy says: Success Requires Goals – End of Story! A life of meaning needs goals and specific plans to achieve them. Success does not happen by accident.

Goal Setting is Difficult and Takes Too Much Time.
The GoalGuy says: Performance is accelerated by time invested in strategy. The game of life is won behind the scenes, in time spent on preparation.

Some of the biggest reasons people fail are because:

• They take action without planning
• They plan and never take action
• Their “Why” is not clear
• They lack focus
• They are afraid to fail
• They try to do it alone

The upcoming Goal Setting Acceleration Bootcamp addresses many of these issues. If you’d like a sneak peak at the inside of the Bootcamp, I have a screen shot HERE. Of course, it doesn’t capture everything, but I like the way it looks and just felt like sharing it with you.

Click to enlarge

So what kinds of qualities are part of a winning attitude?

• Determination
• Enthusiasm
• Motivated
• Confidence
• Optimism
• Patience

The more you live with a winning attitude, the more likely you are to achieve your goals.

However, it’s possible that there are days when you don’t feel as confident or optimistic or even enthusiastic about what you’re doing. I don’t know about you, but I don’t wake up every day feeling motivated. With that in mind, here are 3 Mini-Motivators than can help boost your mood:

• Get your blood flowing: go for a walk or run to clear your head and energize your body
• Try using a reward: promise yourself a certain reward or treat when you reach a certain goal
• Read something inspirational: just google inspirational quotes or motivational quotes or success quotes and you’ll have lots of inspirational reading material

Try using these Mini-Motivators to boost your mood and get back on track with that “winning attitude” you need to achieve your goals.

For more help with setting goals you’ll stick with, a tip for “instant motivation,” and a method for shifting your mindset effectively, quickly, and painless from negative to positive, sign up for the upcoming Goal Setting Acceleration Bootcamp Priority List. Spaces for this session are limited so fill out the form if you want a jump start on the rest of the coaches and players who’ll be looking to take part in the program.

What happens next? Nothing. You don’t use any of the information, ideas, tips, or advice that you got because there was just so much to do, you didn’t know where to start. Either than or you felt so overwhelmed at the idea of having to do so much that you felt it was practically impossible so you gave up before you even started. So basically, you’re in the same spot you were in before you decided to try to improve your game.

How do you combat this TMI obstacle?

Choose ONE area and focus on improving that area ONLY.

Choose something that:

1. you know you can do if you just put your mind to it
2. will have a significant impact (in others words will allow you to see results sooner rather than later)

For example, say you have one goal of improving your batting average from .150 to .500 and another of becoming competant with a back hand. While improving your batting average may take a while and be a bit more invovled, you can probably make significant progress with your backhand in just a week’s time if you made it a focus and worked on it. Therefore, in this situation, in order to overcome the TMI obstacle, I would go with working the backhand first. While you may not reach full competency right away, you’d make decent progress and probably improve your overall confidence as a defender in a relatively short period of time.

So if TMI is stopping you from achieving your goals (after all if you’re not taking action, there’s no way you’re getting any closer to reaching your goals), then stop, take a deep breath, choose ONE area to focus on and do it! Then allow that success to lead you to another, and another, and another…also known as, the “Snowball Effect.”

For additional help with setting (and achieving) your goals for 2009…
Put your name on the Priority List for my upcoming Goal Setting Acceleration Bootcamp. Spaces for this session are limited to less than 100 coaches and players. So far this month, 757.75 people visit this site on a daily basis. If you want to be at the front of the line when I open the doors for this program (I’m talking a full 24 hours ahead of everyone else), fill in your name and e-mail address below and I’ll keep you posted.

I’m sure we can all see the guy’s point. However, the guy who was criticized went into this whole long thing (which was all very good by the way) which pointed out that if he was to listen to this guy all he’d be doing is paying homage to the adage “Misery loves company.”

My favorite part of what he said follows:

“If there is a mission for you in this lifetime – it cannot take place unless, first and foremost, you are true to yourself. If you are addicted to other peoples’ approval MORE than fulfilling your goals – then you are NOT true to yourself and you cannot ever be truly happy.”

This reminded me of when I was a little kid playing softball. I never wanted to stand out. I never wanted to be different. It was an uncomfortable place for me. When our coaches ran us through drills there were times when I’d have dog it because I didn’t want to do the drill that much better than everyone else. Why? Because if I did, there’d be comments like, “Ho, superstar. What you think you’re an all-star or something?’ What were my teammates saying? Basically they were saying what the critic above was saying,“You shouldn’t be showing off like that, you make the rest of us look and feel bad.”

This use to happen in school too. When teachers asked a question, even if I knew the answer, I’d let someone else answer it or just left it unanswered. I didn’t want to be the “know it all” nerdy one who answered all the questions in class so I kept my mouth shut.

Somewhere along the line I grew out of being uncomfortable being different and just started being myself and was very happy being me. It didn’t matter much to me what other people thought. I played because I loved it and went all out because that’s what made me happy. Plus that’s what helped the team most, which, in turn, made my teammates happy too.

Anyway, back to the e-mail. There was one more thing that Matt said that I really, really liked because it summed up perfectly the way I felt when I was in high school and people would ask me if I wanted to drink or smoke or anything else I really shouldn’t be doing. Here’s was it said…

Hmmmm, do I agree with that? Yes and No. You see, the video assumes that you already have an idea of what you want and you already have some goals in mind. Can you mess up setting a goal? Kinda. There are some general rules that you should follow so that the goals you set are much more effective than they would be if you didn’t follow them.

HOWEVER, if we’re talking not going anything at all about the goal in your head vs. taking that idea of what you want, setting a challenging goal, writing it down, then taking action on it (the 3 tips I shared in the video) – gosh, just those 3 things ALONE are going to significantly increase your chance at greater success.

Can simplifying it that much really make a difference? I believe so. Is it the MOST effective, most powerful way to do it? No, it’s not. But it far outweighs, not setting a challenging goal, not writing it down, and not taking action on what you want.

When I first did an actual goal setting exercise, I was a HUGE skeptic – didn’t believe for one second that it was really going to help or change anything. Needless to say I didn’t really go into it with a serious, go get ‘em attitude, but it worked anyway. I did it because it was an assignment from my coach – not because I really wanted to do it, more because I had to do it…and it still worked. Yes, I did go through a little bit of a though process about things I wanted to accomplish or get better with on the field (I’m talking just an hour or two of my time here), but it wasn’t some complicated system where I had to think through every detail of the next 5 years or anything like that. I made no conscious effort to go after the goals I had written, I made no effort to look at or read these goals every day when I woke up or each night before I went to bed, I gave ZERO thought to whether or not my “short term” goals were related in any way shape or form to my longer term goals…and it still worked. In fact, it worked better than I ever thought possible. I accomplished things and improved skills in areas I never truly expected to levels I never thought were even possible and all much quicker than I imagined. I only thought about what I wanted to write down on my goal sheet for ONE afternoon. I wrote them down ONCE, I looked at them “on occasion.” I was not obsessive about them, I didn’t make any major efforts to make sure I was motivated, shucks I never really even tracked my progress on them. One day, about a year later, I looked back at what I had written and saw the goals I set had all been realized, even the ones I thought were a bit out of reach, ones I really wrote down more as wishes than things I really thought I could accomplish. I was doing things I had never done before on the softball field. I was hitting in a slot in the batting line-up no coach had ever put me in. After all, I’m only about 5’2″ 120lbs and all my life I was told I was not a power hitter, yet there I was hitting in a power slot. Every coach in Hawaii new I was a pull hitter and was no threat to the right side, yet there I was smashing triples to the fence in opposite field with runners on base when they tried to attack my “weakness.”

So does goal setting have to be super-complicated to help you achieve more? No, I don’t think so. If you’re talking about doing no goal setting vs doing a very simplified form of goal setting – I think doing any type of goal setting activity is better than none.

Is that going to be the most effective? No.

If I did some things different with that very first goal setting exercise I did could I have achieved even more? I think I could have, which is almost scary!

Do people who set goals ever “fail” to achieve them? Yes, sometimes this does happen for various reasons

Do people have trouble with motivation to stay on track with their goals? Yes

Are there things you can do to give yourself better odds and staying motivated, staying on track, and actually achieving what you want? Yes!

And that’s all the stuff I’m going to cover in my upcoming 2 week goal setting bootcamp.

I’m really looking forward to working with a limited number of coaches and players on creating a path to great success this year and beyond. Whether you’re the type of person who’s never set goals before and want to get some guidance for making this a great year or the type of person who’s set goals before but really want to get serious this time and set some powerful, effective goals for the future, this bootcamp is going to guide you through all of that.

If you’re interested in having me help you through the process on setting your goals, fill in your name and e-mail address below and I’ll keep you posted on when the bootcamp is ready.