If you watched the Mayweather/Ortiz fight this past weekend, you surely have an opinion about how it ended.  While many defend Mayweather saying his blow was not at all illegal and many fault Ortiz because one of the first things you learn as a boxer is “Defend Yourself at All Times” there are some of us who still think Mayweather’s shots were cheap.

Just as the fight ended there were a ton of facebook status updates about the subject.  Here’s what I posted…

The head butt may have been dirty but true champions don’t have to match dirt for dirt.

After all the talk of the fight and people bringing up that Ortiz’s headbutt was illegal and Mayweather’s knock out punches weren’t, something else came to my mind.  I posted that too.

I have a few thoughts on that type of mentality (it’s “okay” or there’s “nothing wrong with it” so long as it’s “legal”).  First of all, “right” and “wrong” are not always defined by rules or laws.  For example, just because you “can” cleat defenders when you slide into them doesn’t mean you should always intentionally do so.  Along those lines, here is another facebook post I made the night of the fight that came as a result of comments people made on the Mayweather/Ortiz fight…

When true athletes go into competition their goal is not just to be better than that opponent on that given day but to be the best THEY can be every single day.

Whether it’s training or competition, big stakes or no stakes, millions watching or with no one watching, under ideal circumstances or under adversity, there is no difference. True athletes strive for excellence in all they do.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts!

Now if you’re connected with All About Fastpitch on Facebook, then you saw part of this. I realized this needed to develop into a full blown blog post when facebook wouldn’t post the status update as I originally wrote it because it was too long. lol

So here is the expanded version of my softball attitude tip/rant of the week…

I’m sorry, but if you think you can’t or don’t learn anything sitting on the bench you need an attitude adjustment.

Been there – learned tons because I CHOSE to. I made it a point to LEARN any chance I got whether it was in practice or on the bench in the game.

Heck there were even times when I was on the bench during PRACTICE due to injury. I still tried to learn anything and everything I could regardless of the situation I was in.

I made it a point to increase my contribution to the team in any way possible even though I couldn’t play!

Stop your whining. It’s not going to get you what you want.

Whether it’s sitting on the bench or a slump or a bruised knee or a wet field there will ALWAYS be something that challenges you. There will always be obstacles along the way.

Find a way to still be a positive impact on your team. You may not get the game winning hit or the make the game winning play, but this experience WILL serve you well in your future in softball and in life!

Sound familiar?

It’s one thing to expect success or desired results while diligently working toward them.  It’s another to expect it will magically happen without having to actually do anything or put any effort toward those goals.

One describes DRIVEN, the other describes SPOILED.  Which one are you?

Are you sure about that?

It’s funny how I’ve complained about this millennial generation acting spoiled and yet, after taking a really good hard look at myself in the mirror, I realized that I’ve acted the exact same way in some areas of my life.

Today’s society is soooo heavy on instant gratification.  Technology gives us a variety of ways to get answers NOW, to get information NOW, to get in touch with friends and family NOW, to get what we want when we want it, which most times is NOW.  We sit on our butts, press a few buttons, and voila!  The world is delivered to us.

Backwards Thinking
Credit, which most “average” American families are familiar with, allow us to get things NOW and pay later.  No longer do we value the concept of working hard first, save with discipline, then pay with cash AFTER we EARN it.

Why go through all that trouble when retailers are offering “6 months same as cash?”  We can take it home NOW then simply earn and pay for it later.   Even though this is ridiculously backwards and typically doesn’t work well in any scenario, we get caught up in this way of thinking.

Whether we realize it or not, our brain is bombarded with the idea that we don’t need to first EARN the things we want/get.  We can “magically” get them NOW then figure out the rest later.  Bad plan.

Living for Today
But I’m “Living for Today!” That’s all fine and dandy if it motivates you to throw your BEST into everything you do.  It’s not so great when you use it as a justification to do stupid, irresponsible things now because there may be no “tomorrow” in which to do and/or pay for it.

Do What I Say
Do what I say, not what I do.  I’m sure you’ve heard that one before.  Unfortunately for us, that’s not the way it works.

After having some sense knocked back into me by life, I realized that maybe a big reason kids act entitled is because ADULTS in their life are modeling it for them in the choices and decisions that they make.  Remember, they are more likely to do what we do, rather than do what we say.

That’s right, I said it.  The adults, that’s us, in their life are modeling it for them.  Now, it’s very possible you may not be, but I’m sure that if you think hard enough, you can think of someone in their lives who is.  Or, you may be able to think of one area in your life or your coaching where you are acting like a spoiled little kid.

But I Deserve It
Some people feel that they work hard, they “deserve” a “treat” (nice expensive car or dinner or vacation) whether or not they can actually afford it.  This is not a mature decision. I don’t care if it’s a good idea or not, I “deserve” it! This is not a good reason to make a bad choice.  I’m not saying you don’t deserve a treat.  I’m just saying that maybe you need to choose a different treat.

Short Term Sacrifice, Long Term Gain
Maybe you’ve seen coaches short on time in the pre-season skip the basics and move on to more advanced stuff because they want to be “ready.”  Have you ever done that?

How about this one…

It’s not fair to the rest of the team to forfeit the game because some players broke a team rule.

We find so many ways to justify or rationalize these choices that really aren’t all that wise.

It’s not easy make tough decisions today for bigger payoffs in the long run.  Can you make that call to sacrifice that ONE game now to nip a potentially huge problem in the bud?

It’s so tempting to take the easy route today even if it’s not the best long term decision.  It’s natural to gravitate toward the path of least resistance.

When a toddler screams at the top of their lungs, throws a full tantrum on the floor, and shows no sign of ever giving up, it’s awfully tempting to just give ‘em what they want to placate them and get ‘em to shut up!  But you and I both know that’s not a good idea.

While that easy route is less painful or uncomfortable now, but it can cause ongoing pain/stress and greater disappointment/grief later.

When you have the strength to make the necessary sacrifices now, to do the necessary “dirty work” now, to make the tough choices now, the payoff in the long run will be more than worth it.

The problem is that sometimes we adults, not just “kids nowdays,” have the tendency to make decisions based upon now (let’s shut that screaming toddler up as quick as possible) instead of thinking and looking long term at the “big picture.”

We take the easy way out now and decide to worry about the consequences later and hope that somehow by that time, the problem is magically fixed.  We choose not to do the necessary “dirty work” now so that we can have the desirable results we want long term.  Bad plan! And guess what?

That shows through in our players and in their choice to take the easy way out of the “dirty work” now and worry about the consequences of that later while hoping all along that somehow they will magically still get the result they want later.

Not gonna happen!

Have the discipline and the diligence and the maturity to do what it takes, no matter how tough it may be now, to move toward the desired, “big picture” results later.  Keep that big picture and long term mindset on hand and it will make so called “tough” decisions much simpler. Plus you will be living and breathing the qualities, principles, and values you want to develop in your team.

Many refer to it as an “attitude of gratitude.” Being thankful for, reflecting upon, and focusing on the things you DO have on a DAILY basis goes a LONG way to making life altering positive changes in your life.

Too many of us spend far too much time focusing on or grumbling about things we don’t like, what we don’t have, or things we wish were different.  Not only are you likely to be less happy focusing on these things, you’re apt to attract more of it!

So try making a commitment to have an attitude of gratitude DAILY. This does work for softball too!  How often do you see players grumbling about practice, opportunities, playing time, etc?  Imagine how much more productive you could be, how much more of a positive impact you could be on your team if you focused on the things you are thankful for?

Try it for a while.  Every day, write down 5 things you are happy about or are thankful for. Turn giving thanks into a daily thing instead of a once-a-year thing.

So what are you thankful for today?

I’m thankful for:

1) my family!

2) you – you make it possible for me to do online softball stuff!

3) health – my physical ability to do everything I can do: enjoy my family, enjoy softball, write, read, etc

Leave a comment here to share your list and start your attitude of gratitude today!

So – simple exercise that you will do right here.  Leave a comment and list 5 things that you are thankful for or happy about on this beautiful Friday.

Here are mine:

1. My family and the day I will be spending with them tomorrow
2. Our beautiful weather
3. My  good health
4. The opportunity to blog about something I love (softball!) and have people who actually read it
5. Being able to share information and resources that HELP others!

What are your 5?  Leave a comment below and share!

thank you photo credit:http://www.flickr.com/photos/vernhart/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

beach photo credit:http://www.flickr.com/photos/januszbc/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

What I didn’t know was that, at the very beginning of her college career, this player started off as a pinch runner. That’s all she was doing.

Her mom remembers talking with her after the first few games of that freshman season. She’d call and ask how the games went and if she got to play. Her daughter would say that “all she did” was pinch run. After a few games, the softball mom could hear the increasing frustration and irritation in her daughter’s voice. One day, when her daughter told her that all she did was pinch run, she responded with,

“Well then you better be the best pinch runner your team has ever seen.”

Her daughter later told her that that had been a wake up call for her. It was a turning point in her college career. After that phone call, she made a decision to stop grumbling, work her butt off, and take advantage of every opportunity she did get.

Most softball players, whether they are conscious of it or not, make this same kind of choice every single day. As a player, you can choose to be frustrated and irritated and grumble about your situation; or you can choose to stay away from that negative mindset, work your butt off, stay focused on improving, and take advantage of whatever opportunities come your way. These opportunities do not only come in games. They come in practice as well.

I’ve also heard players grumble about not having as many chances as other players do, and while that may very well be the case, they are more productive ways to spend your time and energy. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, it serves you better to stay positive and make it a point to make the best of any opportunity you do get.  Stop focusing on what you don’t have and start fully appreciating and making the most of what you do have. You’re much more likely to be successful that way.

So how did this player I mentioned earlier go from being “just a pinch runner” to being Conference Freshman of the Year?

Well, one day a player on her team was having a rough day. The coach decided to put her in the game to replace that player.  She had a great day and that was it.  She never looked back.  She became a regular starter and ended up as the Freshman Player of the Year in her conference.  It’s a great example of how having the right mindset and attitude as a player can propel you to great things.

As a parent, are you cultivating the right mindset?  Or do you add to and feed the negativity your daughter sometimes falls into?
Photo:

If you saw or heard about the fight, you know that GSP dominated!

There are reasons why I like and respect GSP and these qualities are also a big part of why he’s so great at what he does.

So here is my list of the Top 5 Lessons to Learn from GSP

5. Never make excuses
Even after losses or disappointing fights, I never heard this guy make excuses like most other fighters (and athletes in general) tend to do. He simply states what he didn’t do or what he needed to have done differently to have had a chance at a better fight. He doesn’t blame other people, outside influences, or his situation. He takes responsibility for his shortcomings (and often apologizes to his fans and supporters) without making excuses as for why he fell short and without acting like a crybaby. He just tells it like it is, takes responsibility for his own performance, and moves forward.

4. No matter how good you are, always push to become better
Even if you’re a champion, don’t just sit back and think you’re hot stuff. Continue to learn and seek improvement. GSP always seems to be open to new training, new techniques, and new strategies. He has a good team of people around him and actually listens to their insights. Many players, especially good ones, tend to have a “I already know everything I need to know” mentality. They shut out what their coaches and trainers are trying to teach them without even giving them a chance. Once you think you know it all or “have it all” you aren’t going to get any better and someone will pass you by. Someone who, like GSP, is eternally seeking to get better no matter how good they already are. That person will eventually fly right past you as if you were standing still because once you think you’re all that, you will stop moving forward.

3. Train hard!
When GSP trains for a fight, he doesn’t mess around. The harder you push yourself in training, the more confidence you’ll have in competition. Leave nothing to chance. Just because you are “supposed” to win doesn’t mean you can afford to slack in practice. It might end up biting you in the butt. The more you push yourself in practice, the more confidence you’ll have in the game because you know you’ve already done everything you could possible do to get ready. Don’t allow lack of preparation to be the difference between you and your opponent. Don’t take the chance that you will be less successful simply because you chose not to prepare. Remember, the harder you train, the easier the game.

2. Get over yourself
So many people, especially those that are getting to a level where they are experiencing success, are so caught up with themselves that they miss out on the opportunity to know their opponent. Players and teams can get caught up with the, “Well, I can do this” and “Our _____ is better than theirs” or “That team doesn’t have the ______ that we do.” Knowing your opponent and what their strengths and weaknesses are and finding a way to be smart in your “attack” on them will go a lot farther than being “into” everything you can do. Yes, it’s good to be confident, but stop focusing on the how “great you are” and prepare. Forget about all those things that you “can” do and figure out what you “need” to do in order to break your opponent down and tear them apart. In other words, even if you have all the physical talent and ability to outplay your opponent, be smart! Don’t just go in and try to match blow for blow, muscle for muscle, when you could be working smarter, not harder and be more successful.

1. Always respect your opponents
After every fight I’ve seen, and maybe I haven’t seen them all, GSP always shows respect to his opponents, win or lose. Even when he loses and talks about what he should have done differently, he still manages to give credit to the other fighter and not lessen what they have done. Often times I’ll see athletes come out on the losing end of a competition and make it all about them. “I didn’t do this” or “I should’ve done that” and things would have been different “if only I…” without giving any credit to the person on the other side…as if that other person just got lucky they had a bad day. While it may be true that you didn’t do what you needed to do to come out on top, your opponent did have the ability to take advantage of the opportunities presented. Most of the time, especially in big games or tough competitions, your opponent trained hard and wanted that prize just as much as you did (or maybe more). Do not belittle their efforts. Give credit where credit is due. It’s getting more and more rare to see athletes with the kind of class GSP often displays. I can’t stand it when I see players or teams win championships and then shove it into their opponents face. It’s one thing to be excited and happy and pumped up and celebrate what you just accomplished. It’s another to rub it in to the opponent you just beat. Respect the game by respecting everyone involved.

It’s called How to Maintain a Positive Team Attitude and this is such an important topic. Some years, as a coach, you don’t need to worry about it as much as others, but when you get to that season when attitude is something you really need to work on, or when you know that that will make the difference between your team taking it to the next level or not, this little report just might help you out.

Go get it, it’s free. Visit www.softballexcellence.com and click on the Free Stuff link that is in the left hand margin of the screen. This particular report is on page 6 of the freebies offered at www.softballexcellence.com. Here’s to a positive season!