Softball Tips – Do You Need an Attitude Adjustment

I read a post on twitter which inspired this little rant/softball tip on attitude. I can’t remember exactly what the tweet was, but it wasn’t even about sitting on the bench. However, when my brain gets a hold of an idea it often goes off in crazy softball tangents. This was one of those times.

Now if you’re connected with All About Fastpitch on Facebook, then you saw part of this. I realized this needed to develop into a full blown blog post when facebook wouldn’t post the status update as I originally wrote it because it was too long. lol

So here is the expanded version of my softball attitude tip/rant of the week…

I’m sorry, but if you think you can’t or don’t learn anything sitting on the bench you need an attitude adjustment.

Been there – learned tons because I CHOSE to. I made it a point to LEARN any chance I got whether it was in practice or on the bench in the game.

Heck there were even times when I was on the bench during PRACTICE due to injury. I still tried to learn anything and everything I could regardless of the situation I was in.

I made it a point to increase my contribution to the team in any way possible even though I couldn’t play!

Stop your whining. It’s not going to get you what you want.

Whether it’s sitting on the bench or a slump or a bruised knee or a wet field there will ALWAYS be something that challenges you. There will always be obstacles along the way.

Find a way to still be a positive impact on your team. You may not get the game winning hit or the make the game winning play, but this experience WILL serve you well in your future in softball and in life!

Are You Spoiled or Driven?

attitude mental gameOne of the common complaints about “kids nowdays” is that they expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter.  I, myself, have discussed this very issue with friends and family.  I’ve seen many cases where “kids” expect to get things without working for them as if somehow, someway the universe will simply deliver it to them because they “deserve” it.

Sound familiar?

It’s one thing to expect success or desired results while diligently working toward them.  It’s another to expect it will magically happen without having to actually do anything or put any effort toward those goals.

One describes DRIVEN, the other describes SPOILEDWhich one are you?

Are you sure about that?

It’s funny how I’ve complained about this millennial generation acting spoiled and yet, after taking a really good hard look at myself in the mirror, I realized that I’ve acted the exact same way in some areas of my life.

Today’s society is soooo heavy on instant gratification.  Technology gives us a variety of ways to get answers NOW, to get information NOW, to get in touch with friends and family NOW, to get what we want when we want it, which most times is NOW.  We sit on our butts, press a few buttons, and voila!  The world is delivered to us.

Backwards Thinking
Credit, which most “average” American families are familiar with, allow us to get things NOW and pay later.  No longer do we value the concept of working hard first, save with discipline, then pay with cash AFTER we EARN it.

Why go through all that trouble when retailers are offering “6 months same as cash?”  We can take it home NOW then simply earn and pay for it later.   Even though this is ridiculously backwards and typically doesn’t work well in any scenario, we get caught up in this way of thinking.

Whether we realize it or not, our brain is bombarded with the idea that we don’t need to first EARN the things we want/get.  We can “magically” get them NOW then figure out the rest later.  Bad plan.

Living for Today
But I’m “Living for Today!” That’s all fine and dandy if it motivates you to throw your BEST into everything you do.  It’s not so great when you use it as a justification to do stupid, irresponsible things now because there may be no “tomorrow” in which to do and/or pay for it.

Do What I Say
Do what I say, not what I do.  I’m sure you’ve heard that one before.  Unfortunately for us, that’s not the way it works.

After having some sense knocked back into me by life, I realized that maybe a big reason kids act entitled is because ADULTS in their life are modeling it for them in the choices and decisions that they make.  Remember, they are more likely to do what we do, rather than do what we say.

That’s right, I said it.  The adults, that’s us, in their life are modeling it for them.  Now, it’s very possible you may not be, but I’m sure that if you think hard enough, you can think of someone in their lives who is.  Or, you may be able to think of one area in your life or your coaching where you are acting like a spoiled little kid.

But I Deserve It
Some people feel that they work hard, they “deserve” a “treat” (nice expensive car or dinner or vacation) whether or not they can actually afford it.  This is not a mature decision. I don’t care if it’s a good idea or not, I “deserve” it! This is not a good reason to make a bad choice.  I’m not saying you don’t deserve a treat.  I’m just saying that maybe you need to choose a different treat.

Short Term Sacrifice, Long Term Gain
Maybe you’ve seen coaches short on time in the pre-season skip the basics and move on to more advanced stuff because they want to be “ready.”  Have you ever done that?

How about this one…

It’s not fair to the rest of the team to forfeit the game because some players broke a team rule.

We find so many ways to justify or rationalize these choices that really aren’t all that wise.

It’s not easy make tough decisions today for bigger payoffs in the long run.  Can you make that call to sacrifice that ONE game now to nip a potentially huge problem in the bud?

It’s so tempting to take the easy route today even if it’s not the best long term decision.  It’s natural to gravitate toward the path of least resistance.

When a toddler screams at the top of their lungs, throws a full tantrum on the floor, and shows no sign of ever giving up, it’s awfully tempting to just give ‘em what they want to placate them and get ‘em to shut up!  But you and I both know that’s not a good idea.

While that easy route is less painful or uncomfortable now, but it can cause ongoing pain/stress and greater disappointment/grief later.

When you have the strength to make the necessary sacrifices now, to do the necessary “dirty work” now, to make the tough choices now, the payoff in the long run will be more than worth it.

The problem is that sometimes we adults, not just “kids nowdays,” have the tendency to make decisions based upon now (let’s shut that screaming toddler up as quick as possible) instead of thinking and looking long term at the “big picture.”

We take the easy way out now and decide to worry about the consequences later and hope that somehow by that time, the problem is magically fixed.  We choose not to do the necessary “dirty work” now so that we can have the desirable results we want long term.  Bad plan! And guess what?

That shows through in our players and in their choice to take the easy way out of the “dirty work” now and worry about the consequences of that later while hoping all along that somehow they will magically still get the result they want later.

Not gonna happen!

Have the discipline and the diligence and the maturity to do what it takes, no matter how tough it may be now, to move toward the desired, “big picture” results later.  Keep that big picture and long term mindset on hand and it will make so called “tough” decisions much simpler. Plus you will be living and breathing the qualities, principles, and values you want to develop in your team.

The BEST way to Give Thanks

happy thanksgivingHappy Thanksgiving! This is probably the time of year when you focus most on giving thanks.  But know what, if giving thanks is only a once a year thing for you, you’re missing out on a powerful success tool.

Many refer to it as an “attitude of gratitude.” Being thankful for, reflecting upon, and focusing on the things you DO have on a DAILY basis goes a LONG way to making life altering positive changes in your life.

Too many of us spend far too much time focusing on or grumbling about things we don’t like, what we don’t have, or things we wish were different.  Not only are you likely to be less happy focusing on these things, you’re apt to attract more of it!

So try making a commitment to have an attitude of gratitude DAILY. This does work for softball too!  How often do you see players grumbling about practice, opportunities, playing time, etc?  Imagine how much more productive you could be, how much more of a positive impact you could be on your team if you focused on the things you are thankful for?

Try it for a while.  Every day, write down 5 things you are happy about or are thankful for. Turn giving thanks into a daily thing instead of a once-a-year thing.

So what are you thankful for today?

I’m thankful for:

1) my family!

2) you – you make it possible for me to do online softball stuff!

3) health – my physical ability to do everything I can do: enjoy my family, enjoy softball, write, read, etc

Leave a comment here to share your list and start your attitude of gratitude today!

Get Out of Jail Free for Softball?

You know how in Monopoly, you get to use the “Get Out of Jail Free” card to get youself out a jam?

Well, sometimes players need it in softball too!

Have you ever run across a player that wants to be too perfect?  Perfectionism in athletes can actually be detrimental because athletes that are perfectionist often:

  • are afraid to make mistakes
  • get upset over the littlest mistake
  • are often disappointed frustrated with their performance because it never measures up to perfection
  • are reasonably critical of themselves
  • expect too much of themselves

All of these things can put a dent in a your confidence. If you try to play this game without confidence, you’ll probably fail much more than you should and, on top of that, won’t find the game very enjoyable. Obviously if you get to that point, you’re in trouble!  Once this game is “no fun” its either time for serious changes or time to give it up.

SO – since you probably don’t want to get to that point, here’s a little trick Dr. Patrick Cohn, youth sports psychology expert, uses to help players who are perfectionists.

He suggests giving them 3 “Get Out of Jail Free” cards at the beginning of a game or practice.  If your player/child makes a mistake, they (mentally) use one of the cards to let go of the mistake and move on.  Being able to let a mistake go and keep moving forward is such a critical part of becoming the best softball player you can be.  Not only that, this is yet another skill that applies to all areas of life, not just to playing softball on the field.

What do you think?  Is this something you would try?  Do you think this can help you?

Softball Coaching Tips: Is Your Practice Too EASY?

It’s easy to perform well when things are “just right,” when everything is going your way.  Your players have great, positive attitudes, they’re hustling, they’re encouraging each other, they’re cheering, and everything is fine and dandy.

But what happens when a call or two doesn’t go your way?  Or when one mistake leads to another?  Or when the playing conditions are less than desirable?  Or after you’ve been playing all weekend long and fatigue is starting to set in?  Or when your “best” players go down due to injury, health, or ineligibility issues?  How does your team react then?

Do they have the same approach? Do they remain upbeat and positive?  Or do they start to fall apart?  Do they start to press?  Do they start to get frustrated with themselves or each other?  Does your team fall apart or can your team still perform when things get tough?

I’ll admit, it’s not possible to re-create every challenging game-like situation in practice.  However if your team is never challenged in practice chances are they won’t be able to respond the way you want when challenge arises during the game.

Some very wise coaches and elite athletes suggest that training should be harder, tougher, and more challenging than competition.  That way when game day comes, it seems “easy” in comparison.  Is that what you do? Are you preparing your team to perform under adverse conditions, under any circumstance that may occur?  Or is your practice and training too easy?

Here’s an excerpt from an article by Wayne Goldsmith, high performance expert which pretty much sums it all up…

Accept that all teams have to learn to win in tough conditions and prepare to deal with them better than your opposition.

Notice he didn’t say “your team” – he said ALL teams. Often times we use an unfortunate circumstance in our season as an excuse for poor performance, but that’s just a cop out. Do you really think that the best NEVER have a bad day, or calls go against them, or bad weather to deal with, or personality clashes aka drama?

I’m sure you’d agree that such a perfect team environment doesn’t exist. Every team has it’s ups and downs, it’s challenges and obstacles, but the ones that are best prepared to perform in spite of how tough it gets are usually the ones that come out on top.

Not only is “your best no matter what” a great skill to have on the softball field, but in life as well. Help your players learn to keep moving forward no matter what adversity they may face.  Not only will you probably win more games and maybe even a few championships, but your players will also carry invaluable life skill off the field and into the real world where stakes are much higher than a few statistics or a win-loss record.

Finish It!

As the end of another softball season approaches, I am reminded of the challenge that lies in finishing stronger than you started. At the beginning of a season, there’s always so much excitement, so much anticipation, so much desire to come out each day and do your thing on the softball field.

But after months and month of coming out day after day, it’s not always easy to stay motivated and focused. It can be quite simple to start “going through the motions” and “check-out” mentally as you take your zillionth swing or throw of the season.

BUT - if you want to be the best you can be in this season, if you want to finish stronger than you started, (which is the point right), you really need to make a commitment to what you are doing. You need to make a commitment to put yourself “all-in” and push all the way through to the end and beyond – similarly to what I talked about in this baserunning post.

That’s why I think it’s so critical to be able to create a habit, the sooner the better, of doing the little things to perfection. Sometimes the long road ahead, or the long road that has already passed, make the entire journey too daunting to look at. It makes this ONE drill seem insignificant. In times like those, if you can simply go back to your simple habit of investing in each drill, in each rep – put your whole self in in each little segment of your training – just commit to that one moment, that one rep at a time…it can help you keep moving forward when the day-to-day starts to feel mundane. It can help keep you on track while to take a moment to rejuvenate and get the fire burning again.

If you can’t do that, if you don’t know how to keep doing at least those “little things” right, then that one “insignificant” drill or rep turns into two, or three. or simply turns into an entire day (what’s ONE practice right?). Then next thing you know, another day is “insignificant” and another and another until you’ve spent in entire week being sub-par, training at a level you’d never actually want to perform at and what good did you do yourself? Probably none at all, and in fact, you may have actually “hurt” yourself creating bad habits physically and/or mentally.

When it comes to staying “on track,” it’s also extremely important to set out with some “bigger” purpose. Something far more important to you than just one drill. Something that you are working toward and working for. Something that makes each drill and each rep and each day on the field worth it. If you’re lucky – just being there is reward enough. For some, that’s the way it is. The opportunity to go out there and do softball stuff is the highlight of any given day. For those people, motivation and focus is rarely a major issue.

But even the best, even the most determined sometimes get into those “moods” when they simply don’t feel like 100%. You know what? That’s human. It’s OKAY. Give yourself a break every now and then. Understand that it’s part of being an athlete. It’s something everyone goes through. Don’t waste time worrying about it. Acknowledge it, address it, and do what you need to do to refresh. You need it. It’s almost impossible to stay at full intensity ALL the time. You need to find ways to unwind, to relax, to refresh, and to rejuvenate mind, body, and spirit in order to perform the best you can.

Finishing up a season strong, isn’t easy. That’s why only a few an do it and do it well. It’s easy at the beginning. It’s easy as you start getting to the “meat” of your season. But when all that’s done and you’ve been climbing and climbing all year long…now there are two directions you can go. You can keep pushing and continue reaching higher and higher – usually this is the tougher, more challenging road. OR you can let up, stop pushing, and find yourself sliding,. or maybe even rolling, down the hill or mountain you just climbed.

Which is it going to be?
Can you stay focused? Can you re-commit? Can you, for just a fraction of the time you’ve already put in…keep moving forward and finish stronger than you started? Take it one step at a time…you can do it!

The Challenge is Not to Become…

I swear, social media is so cool!  If you’re not a part of it yet, you’re totally missing out.  Just this weekend I heard something on the softball field that I thought was “status update worthy.”  So I wrote a tweet to share it with others.  Next thing you know, a coach sees it (Coach Meg) and turns it into a blog post.  I read her blog post and am now sharing a nugget from it with you! Isn’t that cool?

It all started with a word at the field that was shared with others.  Then someone else came along and offered to share the insight they got from it.  The insight they shared then lead to this blog post which I am now sharing with you.  That’s a lot of sharing going on, but that’s how we continue to learn and grow and gain insight into ideas or concepts we may not have thought of on our own.  Or sometimes these things just serve as a timely reminder of what we already know – and the internet and social media make it easier than ever to begin and continue this chain of sharing, learning, and growing with each other.

Anyway – on to what this post is really about – The Challenge!

You see, in Coach Meg’s post, I read a phrase that just jumped out at me…

The challenge is to not become complacent

The challenge is to not become complacent…

  • with your performance
  • with your training
  • with your mental approach
  • with your school work
  • with your interaction with your teammates
  • with your performance
  • with how you train
  • with how you perform
  • with what you’ve already accomplished
  • etc, etc, etc

That’s such a great line and one that applies to so many player and coaches in the game today.  It’s so easy to become complacent once we find something that “works” or once we accomplish a goal or once we see that we are one of the best amongst our immediate competition.  But complacency is the quickest path to repeating crisis or failure.  So, you may be on top now, but never ever let that stop you from moving forward or continuing to develop.

One thing is certain, once you reach the top, once you become a champion, you now have what everyone else wants. Some are fighting tooth and nail and are willing to do almost anything to get what you have.  If you choose complacency, if you think that now, since you’ve finally reached your goal, that you can relax.  Think again.  That “prize” you’ve earned and worked so hard for will be gone in an instant if you think for once second that there’s nothing else you need to do…that there’s no more to improve upon.  Whether it’s a championship, or an award, or a starting position, or a spot on the team – working for it and earning it does not entitle you to it forever.

You think getting to that point was tough – staying there is a whole ‘nother level!

Complacency is a very sneaky enemy.  The challenge is to not become complacent.